找不到人说心里的寂寞....

找不到人懂怕黑的折磨~

对不起，我好像真的累了

你懂我有多可悲吗?

你懂我有多可笑吗?

突然觉得心中装满着石头

好想好想就这样放弃了

老天爷啊！请你赐给我力量

我快要被自己给打败了

于慧，千万要记得

不该贪心, 不该有太多的恳求

只因为我不配拥有.....

Another diff live....

hey hey...long time i din update my blog...since i cant online often...hmm...tis is the first time i left my family for a couple of week...time really flies..though im begining to grow up n to break away... hmm...eventhough the distance of tis place is near from my hometown~kk... but the environment,the ppl here is slightly different... actually KL is same as KK. the difference between KK n KL is.... u could notice more tall n huge building,more cars, highway road n many " dark skin human " in KL... lol...
well..i study at sunway university college,KL now..first 2 days will be orientation...i have no fren take the same course wif me..so i used to study alone...stil remeber the first day i went to college...it was 8.50am....there have a talk in multi-purposely hall...but i was skipping the talk...i crept down the hall as fast as i could...hoping tat no one realise tat im escaping...n finally i was success....haha...i met my housemates,whom r oso my senior in the college...her name is ah min n another called see lik...i had lunch wif them at the food court oppsite of sun U...bout the sunway college...the schl is nice....most of the students speak eng with each other....but i stil cant get use to it...i know tat its time for me to improve my eng....anyway..i hope tat my college life goes well...wish all of u all the best too...n i miss u guys so much...

Lee Hong Ki

Hey, gonna intro a korea artis here...Lee HongKi... from F.T island...he is so cute when he smile....n freaking prettier than a girl....i love his voice as well~

• Name: Lee HongKi/HongGi (Korean: 이홍기)
• Birthday: February 2, 1990
• Height:178 cm
• Weight:60 kg
• Education: Booljung Elementary School, Yangyoung Middle School, SeongJi High School (Korean: 성지고등학교)
• Position: Lead Vocals
• Blood Type: AB
• Hobbies: Singing, listening to music, soccer, playing games (board and Internet)
• Family: Parents, younger sister
• Talents: Singing, soccer, acting
• Nickname: Cute Defiance, Hairy HongKi, Hongstar
• Charisma point: The way his eyes look when he smiles
• Fashion: Layers (T-shirts over sleeves), rings when performing
• Music experience: He was originally studying both music and acting because his goal was to be an all-around entertainer.
• Message to future girlfriend: "잘해보자! 잘하지 못해도 이해해줘~" (Let's do our best! Even if I don't do well, please understand me~)

wake up in the morning...not noon.. -.-"

9.30o'clock in tis morning.... when i was dreaming tat i m a moneybags...when i was sleeping like a pig..."Buzzzz...!!" the vibration of my phone rudely interrupted my journey in dreamland... i glanced quickly at it...a msg from Novera...i sleepily read the content of the msg...." Yu hui..when u wana go out? Jz leave 9days then u go KL lu..n i gt a suprise for u!! Haha.. " wow...suprise? i wonder wats tat...wei wei..unless u give a goodbye kiss a..otherwise,i dun count it as suprise d lo...haha..jk jk... anyway,thanks first! honestly,i wish tat i can receive something handmade by my frens b4 i go KL.. or jus a small card,i think its good enuf...im telling tis to you..yeah...YOU... ppl out there who r reading tis post...hiak hiak.... Lol... okay... simultaneously,it struck me for the frist time tat i will leave kk,sabah 9 days later... i was suddenly seize with a feeling of insecurities as i began to consider my future... i could not sleep anymore...since thoughts spinned in my mind...altot i m not studying far away, just at KL... but i will not be living under the same roof wif my family...i gonna miss them...n all my frenz here....

act i have some plan b4 i go :

1. spend time wif my fren esp jin lih them (pamela,smth,charis....)

2. v can go pulau or steamboat

3. meet teacher debbie,yss, tsl n coach

4. buy a same T-shirt wif siew juan

5. hang out wif stanley chia,ah lap,siew juan,grace lee,jia chang, audrey n oso andrew...

6. hang out wif my classmates

7. blood test

8. buy another new facial soap

9. give smthg leong a birthday present

10. have a farewell night with jin lih them

11. cut my hair

12. accomp mum n dad go office

13. pay back rm5oo++ to my sis

14. buy a music plyer to my mum

wow...can i make all tis in a week?? hey everyone.. lets help me oso k... =)

Speechless....

----OFFLINE----

Today went to karamunsing wif mum...coz decided to go to KL study....then need a laptop..mum bought me a hp laptop-Dv4...its quite expensive...Rm4099..thanks very much,mum...hmm..bcoz i had a stomachache so went home early just now...n the staff there help me install some software..i will get the laptop by tomolo...

er...im not happy now...feeling down..jus finish eating ice-cream n chocolates...i ate a lot...i raelly did...eventhough my stomach is pain...but i dun even care...jus dun want to stop eating...tis is my way to make myself feel better.....why not happy? i questioned to myself relentlessly...actually..me,myself oso dunno the exact reason...im jus very blue....just wanna ignore everything...im going KL on 13th of march...b4, i feel tat its too rush...but now...im looking forward on tat day..hoping tat i could leave tis place quickly,ealier...i dun understand why...except of my family,i cant even feel any warm from others...i have been thought of having a great time with my frens b4 i go study....but u know wat..a feeling of dejection took charge of me...yeah...mayb im thinking too much...but sometimes i should admit tat...nobody need me here....i cant feel ppl's true heart...haiks...tiring with my own lives now....well....tats all for today...bye..

品冠　<< 我以為 >>
作詞：黃婷　作曲：品冠　編曲：伍冠諺




妳曾說不想有天讓我知道　妳對他　有那麼好
妳說會懂　我的失落　不是靠寬容　就能夠解脫

我以為我出現的時候剛好　妳和他　正說要分開
我以為妳　己對他不再期待　不縱容他　再給妳傷害

我以為我的溫柔　能給妳整個宇宙　我以為我能全力　填滿妳感情的缺口
專心陪在妳左右　彌補他一切的錯　也許我太過天真　以為奇蹟會發生

我以為終究妳會慢慢明白　他的心　已不在妳身上
我的關心　妳依然無動於衷　我的以為　只是我以為

我以為我的溫柔　能給妳整個宇宙　我以為我能全力　填滿妳感情的缺口
專心陪在妳左右　彌補他一切的錯　也許我太過天真　以為奇蹟會發生

他讓妳紅了眼眶　妳卻還笑著原諒
原來妳早就想好妳要留在誰的身旁
我以為我夠堅強　卻一天天的失望
少給我一點希望　希望就不是奢望

我以為我的溫柔　能給妳整個宇宙　我以為我能全力　填滿妳感情的缺口
專心陪在妳左右　彌補他一切的錯　也許我太過天真　以為奇蹟會發生

他讓妳紅了眼眶　妳卻還笑著原諒
原來妳早就想好妳要留在誰的身旁
我以為我夠堅強　卻輪得那麼絕望
少給我一點希望　希望就不是奢望

看了下一站幸福才知道有一首這麼好聽的歌....每次聽這歌都會想起拓也的告白....很喜歡這首歌....希望你們也會喜歡....也许真的少一点希望，就没有那么多奢望~~ T.T

♥ Mum~

today went to kk with mum...coz she wanna go bank do her stuff...bcoz of the problem of sharing car with sis...i had a furious argument wif my mum....i was really hot tempered just now...but i knw tat i was wrong...haiks...i know tat they r always trying to fulfill their promises...but sometimes when they din make their words,i was jus like other wild child..keep growling n grumbling..shrieked at the top of my lung...tis is my way to show tat im pissed off... oh poor mummy...how rude ur daughter is....haiks...u knw wat...i sob silently in the car when my mum went to the bank....its kinda funny i knw..coz im the one start the argument first...

If somebody ask me, whom i love the most in my entire life...my answer always is the same~FAMILY....i love my family very very much...blood is thicker than water..i do agree with tis proverb...but....just.....sometimes my attitude towards my parents is very bad...i could not control...i was trying to calm down sometimes...but always failed....=( however.... one thing i truly know inside my empty chest is i love them!! no matter wats going on....

i never doubt my parents' love...i was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth...i knw my family is poor...but im glad...u know wat...my cny angpau i get from my parents tis year....is the biggest angpau i ever take...mayb its jus a little money for u guys...but for me...as a poor student...its a large amount...the reason i mention my angau is not showing off....i just wanna tell tat altot my parents r not rich...but they provide us(i n my sis) the best...

Go Away~~~FOOD

hey...im jus finish eating 3 slice of island supreme pizza n 1 seafood lagsana...im so fullllll now....haiks..im getting fatter...recently i eat a lot~!! haha...keep eating at home...5days i din exercise ed...didnt went to core fitness...OMG..just eat eat eat...im not just only wasting my money of paying the fee to CORE but also wasting food...coz when i eat, im not hungry at all...wat wrong wif me a...why eat so much...seriously,i dunno..the food i had ate tis few days induced the equivalent of one month of food...nvm nvm..start on tomolo...yea..TOMORROW...i will control my diet...i wanna be healthy...x more oily food or snacks...haha..tis is wat i wan....promise to myself...no more excuse~~

HO DO KA JIO~

如 何 是 好

ha go do man kun ku de pu ne lio nun mu li na
ha go do man kun ku de ga ka nio do nun mu li hu lou ba
su nun bu do du su ne mi ra do ta su ma lu go su lou
ku de ka nan tie cha ji mu ta go
na nun gu man ni jio

*ho do ka jio ho oek ka jio
ku de ga do na ga ne yo
ho do ka jio ho do ka jio
ni do go do na ga ne yo

#sa rang he yo sa rang he yo
mu nung wa bu lou bo ji ma
ku dan tue ji mu te yo
ka sun mu lun ba wa ji gu i su ni

ha lun ong jeong gei ji wa bu juei ma mum do bu la
ha lun ong jeong hi do la ji ma po ta xi do o la
su nun bu do du su ne mi lou do hai ne su hong nun go su lou
ku dan ka ji ma cha ji mu ta go
na nun khu man ni jio

ho da ka jio ho do ka jio
qia gu ka de man bu ya yo
ho do ka jio ho do ka jio
nan ku de sa ram ha nun de

mi a he yo mi a he yo
ne ma li de li xi na yo
tang xi tu lan wa cuo yo
ku de ah ni mion
na na ga ni tean yo

ho do ka jio ho do ka jio
na no ji ku da bu in te


REPEAT *, #

SoMe FrEn R FoReVeR

My idea of a true friend now is the person who:
-gives me the better of the two choices,
-listens to my whine patiently,
-consoles me when i m dishearten,
-helps me fight off those who try to take advantage of me,
-thinks of me at times when im not there,
-believe in me,
-never lie to me,
-helps me clear up my mistakes,
-helps me become a better person, and most importantly loves me!!


yea, i really wish i have a true fren now...however, i m content wif wat i have now....althou i have no true fren but i m glad coz i have many good frens in my life...haha..of late, jin lih told me tat she had written an articles bout her frens but she havent post in her blog...so feel like wanna write something bout my frens too....

well...when i was 14years old, i knew a girl..her name is SOO WEN YI...she was my best fren...as far back as i can remember she was always the first person tat i came to wif every tear n laugh...v always chit chat at the back of the class when teacher was teaching...wif another fren call ah suk...haha...v quite plyful tat time...always copy others work..then enter class very late....ponteng class..n always talk talk talk in the class...haha...esp when v r at lab during science lesson(Pn Kumar)...
form 3,it was a tough year for us whom sit for pmr exam...but v enjoy ourselves in tat year too...esp activiy after PMR...hmm....altot v were not in the same class but it did not influence our frenship...till..v were in form4...ppl always tell u tat sweet moment is not lasts longer...appreciate everything b4 its lost....it is really true...our frenship was spoiled in tat year i think...mayb v have our own frens....or v have diff thoughts... " frens is not forever" she told me tis b4..after tat she transfered to singapore...so v seldom meet..even chat...hmm...but tat was then n tis is now...now...mayb v r stil seldom contact...or mayb v r not best fren anymore....but i will carry the memories btw us to my grave.

Second fren i wish to mention is WONG JIIN LIH....hui.. jin lih, bangga la u..haha....seriously i forget since when v bcome close fren...mayb is the end of 2008? hmm...she a...from a naughty girl bcome mature n caring girl jor...im proud of it =) act v r not often meet now..bcoz sometimes im not free n she has bf..so the time v can talk bout our problem is lesser...or mayb she has no more big problem...hmm...for me,she is a good fren...i know tat i can tell her all my secrets...bcoz i trust her...honestly, i wil be more happpy if u tell me bout my mistakes...if i did anything wrong or pissed u la...haha...jus let me know k...so tat i wont do it again..jus be honest towards me....dun worry,i wont get mad...hm..mayb i m leaving kk,study at kl...but hope tat v will stay contact...i appreciate u alot...n i mean it...hope tat u too...hmm...remember tat...as our lives change,come watever v will stil be fren 4ever...

next..my classmate...NOVERA LIEW....she is special wif others...haha...u know wat...she likes those ugly thing...such as disgusting buffalo...monkey n the ngong ngong singer(lu guang zhong)...haha...so her taste is quite.....er....bad....xP kidding...act her tears easily trickle down oso doh...when recall something touching a...her eyes surely bcome redish...bah bah...always say me emotion la..act u r same wif me....hahaha...sometimes when im crying,she will cry wif me too...tis a moi a...dunno how to say her oh..dun look her like happy go luck type a...act she have a lot pressure which u guys never know...problem bout her family,study....she wil seldom mention it, but doesnt mean she is doing fine...actually, i seldom ask her too...coz since she want be a tough girl, wan pretend like a super woman in front me ma..haha...no reason for me to stop her..m i rite novera? xP...so u keep pretending a...then one day can be a successful artist liao...wei wei....dun angry a....seriously,i care u alot de lei...so sometimes when feeling bad,u can find me.




HSU SHINN ZHI...haha...u can call her zhi zhi or cute cute zhi zhi...a girl whom is caring + nice + selfishless + frenly + smart...she is the one always stand by my side..altot v seldom hang out, but v believe in each other..thanks for teaching me economic, maths n science last year...when i was despressed,u always be there...whenever sadness surge into my mind, u always try ur best to make me feel better..stil remember the nite u bring me go to ur church...the way u did to comfort me, im reallly touched..bcoz of u, i had joined the churh camp...act i enjoyed myself thre...having fun wif my group member...n i knew many new frens there...i should not back home ealier tat time...however, u r a great fren....n i love u!

okay...wanna talk bout tis plyful fren...CHOW MEI SHEUE....she attends NS now...pity her..haha...im glad to know her..coz she brings a lot of joy to me...i know her since i was form2 i think...then v bcome closer when form 4...she is a talkactive girl...2 whole years in class v wont have any radio problem bcoz she will make the environment of the class noisy..but i seldom share my secret to her..bcoz she could not keep the secret one...haha...when v were form 4, almost every friday i used to hang out wif her after finish our schl...v go cp by bus..went kkbox sing, watch mv, cut hair, bought bag, n many more...stil remember the cake v ate n the mocha v drank at secret recipe? when would be the next time again? i miss it so much....i will help u buy a cake for reagan on his birthday... but u a...dun forget my birthdy a...

SAMANTHA ONG...she is cute..act i dun really know her...but v know each other since few years ago...lately,v hang out together...she is a nice fren thou....if i have the chance, i hope v would bcome good fren...=)

the eng genius? PAMELA FUNK... haha....dun get hyper ya if i call u tat...xP hmm....i know her since i was 14years old...when chatting wif her through msn,she is quite cool o...dunno why....sometimes make me dun dare to bother her...haha...its a big diff when talking wif her face to face..she likes to gamble...haha...suppose is v like to gamble...izzit? hmm... i think she is a straight forward person....but i like it act..haha....im sorry for didn't attending ur 17th birthday party last year..hmm...forgive me ya..n ur present stil wif me lei..LOL.

VIVIAN TAN...i knw her since i was primary 6..haha...altot v argue b4..but its doesnt means v cant be fren again...honestly, i could not take u as best fren...mayb u never trust me n believe me at the first....i was sombre when squarrel wif u tat time....tat disheartening incident truly made my heart sank....it was not bcoz of the way v argue...but the way u thought bout me....din not give me the chance to explain...i could not know wat r u thinking act...hmm...lets forget bout the unpleasant matter, i hope v really can be good fren...hang out tgt n gossip tgt...anyway,i have no regret knowing u...all the best in everything..n bcome a pretty korean girl.... xP

hmm...MANDY CHUNG...v were close fren b4...when i need someone to talk to,i will find her...occasionally,v will spend each other drink n eat..haha...mandy, the necklace i gave u as ur birthday gift,must keep it good ya...honestly,the relationship btw us now, is colder than b4..when v meet, an overwhelming of awkward flowed through my body...hmm..i dunno whether i stil can trust u or not...wanna make sure wit u something,but i dun dare to ask...im following to my heart...i think i will trust u bcoz i should believe in myself but not others...mayb v r not as good as last time...but...thanks for everything!

~FREINDS~

act i wanna write bout my other frens too..like...charis,jacqueline pang,kelly,ah lap,thien,andrew,audrey,siew juan n my other classmates + frenz...but if i write all of them, i think even 10 pages not enough for me to write...mayb i will write it next time...tata..

Most people walk in and out of our life, but only friends leave prints in our heart.